I FINALLY got to see a hummingbird in my new feeder outside my kitchen window. Somehow it had avoided my glance and drained a full round in the last couple weeks.
It hovered there above the feeder looking this way and that. Still but in motion.
That's how I have felt as I have approached prayer time recently. I pray through my lists, both written and mental, and then make a very weak attempt to listen. But I'm not really silent. Distractions of house chores and email and yard work and writing projects call continually to me.
It's as if I had invited a friend in to visit and then shut the door in her face.
"Be still and know that I am God" (Psalm 46:10).
My impulse is to say, "I know, God! I know you want my attention. I'm here!" But I know better, because there's an anxious and impatient stirring that seemingly compels me to move and do and check things off The Lists.
While I am traveling in the next two weeks I will open the door, invite my Lord to step in, and then listen . . . until he speaks.